Conversation starters for people who hate small talk

The most common barrier Powrsuiters face when networking? Starting a conversation.

Whenever we walk into an event or accost someone at the dog park, that opening line presents a major stumbling block. While our brains frantically search for something, anything, more interesting to say, our mouths open and out comes… Weather chat.

This article is being penned in a gloriously sun-soaked room (hello spring!), but we still don’t want to dedicate word count to it – weather is a truly abysmal topic. We’ve also heard enough elevator pitches to know you have so much more to offer than the classic “cold enough for you?” So, we’ve compiled a list of conversation starters to have in your back pocket, ready to pull out at a moment’s notice.

But first, some ground rules:

Small talk has a bad rep, but it doesn’t have to be dull – if you constantly find yourself stuck on the surface, you’re doing it wrong. Starting broad means you can quickly narrow in on a shared interest and dive into a more meaningful conversation. Your opening line doesn’t have to be witty or charming – simple usually wins. In saying that, you should always:

1. Start with an open question: If someone can answer with a yes or a no, plenty will. You’ll be back to standing there in silence, wishing you’d done more research into El Niño.

2. Be more curious, less quiz master: Keep your questions easy to answer. “What’s the last great book you read?” may sound thoughtful, but it puts the other person on the spot. You don’t want their first impression of you to trigger memories of school exams.

3. Stay on solid ground: Save your political hot takes for people you already know well (Kristen, that means you too – no more ‘How’s about that Trump?’). A useful filter: could two people with completely different views both laugh or nod along to this? If yes, it’s a good opener.

4. Skip the chaotic energy: Don’t immediately start recounting your terrible morning, parking, traffic, or the email you forgot to send. It might feel like bonding, but it’s giving disorganised. Ditch the rom-com damsel-in-distress trope, take a deep breath, and start with positive, capable energy.

5. Be ready to respond: Ever watch Whose Line is it Anyway? A key pillar of improv is ‘yes and’ – working together to build on what each other says. Conversations are a form of improv. We’re making them up on the spot, so pay attention to the breadcrumbs your partner drops, then build on them.

Ok, on with your opening lines

We’ve grouped these for simplicity. Please steal them outright or use them as a starting point for your own variations.

1. Use context cues

Your environment is doing half the work for you; use it.

Welcome to my lift: We love this Powrsuiter’s go-to when someone joins her in an elevator. “Welcome to my lift” is silly enough to spark a laugh and surprising enough to elicit an unguarded response.

I love that jacket: Everyone loves a specific compliment, and their answer will probably tell you a bit about them. Remember to keep it to clothes, shoes, hair, glasses, handbags, etc… Let’s not comment on each other’s bodies.

This venue is stunning, have you been here before? Comment on the event itself – the venue, food, ridiculous queue for coffee. Another starter: “The food looks good, any recommendations?”

What brought you here today? Their answer will give you lots of breadcrumbs to work with. An alternative: How did you hear about this?

What do you think of the talk/panel/arrival process? Have your own opinion ready to share, too.

I’m going to grab a drink/food, want to come? This is a fast way to find out whether someone is open to interacting, but you’ll need a follow-up question ready to go.

Are you based here in [city], or did you travel in? An easy way to get context on where they live or work. You can quickly build on that.

2. Acknowledge the awkwardness

Sometimes the most disarming thing you can do is state the obvious.

I don’t know anyone here, can I join you? No one at a networking event should say ‘no’ when you ask to join, but if they do, you’ve dodged a conversational bullet. Walk away with your head held high.

Do you also walk into a networking event and immediately plan your exit? Honest, funny, and it invites the other person to admit they also feel nervous (because most of us do).

This is a great turnout. Do you know a lot of people here? You’ll either get the opportunity to meet their friends, or bond with another solo soul.

What’s your strategy when you walk in alone? Ask for their advice. Another option: “How do you decide who to talk to at events like this?”

3. Ask a small favour

Nothing lowers social barriers like a tiny ask. Most of these aren’t open questions, but they’re about as low-risk an opener as you can get. Just have a second question ready in case they give a one word answer.

Is this seat taken? You’ll be sitting next to them either way, so you might as well chat.

Do you know if this is the right queue for the tickets/food/bathroom? Works anywhere there’s a line, which at most events, there is.

Do you know what time this starts? Handy at any event that starts vaguely on time, which is most of them.

Have you seen the schedule? Anything you recommend? This provides a natural segue into work, without asking the dreaded “so what do you do?”

Want a shortcut?

If you know you need to network more, but the idea of walking into a room of strangers alone makes you want to run in the opposite direction, join Powrsuit. You’ll be surrounded by people who live by a shared philosophy of open questions, warm welcomes, and conversations you can start from the comfort of your couch.

And if you want feedback on your go-to opening line, email it to us – we’d love to hear it.