Expert interview with Stu van Rij, IT lawyer, negotiator and leadership coach.
Stu van Rij spent two decades as an IT lawyer navigating high-stakes negotiations before becoming a leadership coach. This is a ‘can’t miss’ interview that’ll transform how you navigate challenges. There was so much gold, it was tough for us to pick the highlights – but here we go:
💡 Confidence follows a specific pathway: Conviction → Courage → Competence → Confidence – You can’t skip steps: Conviction – wanting to do the thing Courage – taking the step (involves risk, won’t feel good) Competence – building through repetition, even through setbacks Confidence – reflecting on your wins (share them with us each Friday on Insta). Feeling uncomfortable isn’t a lack of confidence – it’s a sign you’re building it.
💡 Win the battle between your ears first – So much of confidence is a mental game. How you frame a situation in your mind directly impacts how you show up and perform. Use research-backed reframes like ‘I’m excited’ or ‘pressure is privilege’ when facing challenging moments. The first battle to win is always the one in your head.
💡 Use WHISPA before challenging moments – When facing something that tests you, go through your resources: Wins (past proof you’ve done something like this before), Hunger (what you really want from this), Identity (unique strengths you bring), Skills (what you know), Prep (homework you’ve done), Allies (your support network like Powrsuit!). This shifts you from ‘threat state’ to a ‘challenge state’ just by recognising that you have everything you need.
Powrsuit replaces exclusive, time-intensive professional development with small actions that work around real life. Join now to access this, and over 70 more bite-sized lessons, along with peer coaching, a private network and plenty of other member benefits.
"This is such a powerful conversation! I love how Stu talked about reframing and his quote about pressure is privilege. I am finding this more and more in my role at work."
