Need some help? How to get the support you need at work

Years ago, Nat found herself working alongside a bully. Months of undermining and dismissing really impacted her life, knocking her confidence and causing her to dread going into the office. Eventually, she couldn’t stand it any longer and quit.  

The moral of the story may not be what you expect. We all know it’s a good idea to leave a bad situation – but we sometimes overlook all the opportunities we have to address problems before they become unbearable. The truth is, Nat had chosen to suffer in silence. She assumed the bad behaviour was obvious and confused her colleague’s inaction for complicity. 

How wrong she was. The news came as a real shock to the team. They had no idea there was an issue and took immediate action. But, after months of dealing with a difficult dynamic, Nat still decided to walk away from a rewarding, well-paid role. 

That was the first and last time she sacrificed her career in order to solve a problem.

On the path to burnout?

While men report feeling less lonely as they progress up the career ladder, it’s a different story for women. Plenty of research reinforces what we’ve witnessed at Powrsuit: a lack of support drives women out.

The situation isn’t helped by the accelerating pace of change. The gender leadership gap means that most people making decisions about flexibility work from office mandates, professional development, diversity initiatives, and leave are men. Even with thorough consultation, some of the challenges you’re facing will likely be overlooked. 

No, it’s not fair that the status quo still often benefits some groups over others. Yes, leaders need to design environments that work for everyone. But even if these factors were addressed, we’d still all regularly find ourselves facing issues that seem invisible to everyone else. If your manager is also struggling, it’s even easier for them to overlook your situation.

The unlearning revolution

Women aren’t taught to ask for help. Even worse, we celebrate the myth of superwoman – the idea that women are born with the ability to multitask competing priorities with ease. 

We are socialised to think we should be able to have do it all, or there’s something wrong with us. So, when we’re struggling, we default to keeping calm and carrying on. Except, we don’t feel calm at all – instead we get trapped in a cycle of stress. 

No one is giving an overwhelmed, stressed out person a promotion.

Here’s a secret: successful people surround themselves with help. From EAs to advisors to coaches, top leaders view help not as a hindrance, but an essential tool to take the handbrake off. Learning to ask for help is a skill, and it’s one we all need to hone if we want to progress in our careers without burning out.

Thankfully, Powrsuiters embrace an experimental mindset – we believe in the powr of small actions to drive big change. If the idea of asking for help feels deeply uncomfortable, that’s exactly the time to challenge your limiting beliefs and try something new. 

With that in mind, here are three things you can do right now to seek the help you need:

1. Ask for it!

Next time you feel stressed, frustrated or overwhelmed, take note of the specific factors that tip the balance: Is it conflicting priorities? A difficult dynamic? Interruptions during deep work? An overloaded inbox? 

Spend some time getting really clear – the problem might not be what you think.

Then, switch from problem to solution mode. Brainstorm a range of things that could give you the support you need – from regular one-on-ones and establishing boundaries to professional development. If you can’t think of anything, bring in backup – ask your professional board of directors (trust us, they will have a fresh perspective!).

If you don’t tell people what you need, they won’t know you need it. So once you have some ideas, ask people who can help for the help you need. It could be a colleague, manager or someone in your wider network. 

Fight the urge to equate asking for help with admitting defeat. Think of it as a shortcut through struggle and remember the power of storytelling – give context, use a recent example, and offer up at least one pragmatic, doable solution. 

2. Use your professional development allowance

Good organisations don’t just care about deadlines; they recognise the benefits of helping you develop and grow. Many offer individual professional development allowances, while others have buckets you can access simply by asking. 

Women often don’t use theirs. 

If you’re serious about your career, it’s time to get serious about upskilling. Remember that list you just created above? Ask your LinkedIn network (and colleagues!) for recommendations to help you fill any capability gaps. We often focus on technical skills, but it’s equally important to hone communication, commercial, feedback and other core capabilities that help you navigate the workplace.

Find a course, conference, coach, and submit a well-structured request for professional development budget. If money is tight, consider affordable options like books, short events, shadowing opportunities or a monthly Powrsuit membership (yes, you can now pay monthly!). 

3. Take time off

It’s really hard to take a step back and work on your career while still working in it. When was the last time you stopped and thought about where you’re at and where you want to go? You don’t need to leave the country or spend a fortune, all it really takes in time.

One smart Powrsuiter used a few days’ leave to have coffee with interesting people and learn about different organisations and roles. When we left Hatch, we did the same and took the time to really reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what we wanted to do differently.

We’ve talked about the importance of building your personal board of directors, but let’s take the ‘you as a business’ analogy even further: take a day or two to work on a plan for your career. It could be as simple as networking your way to some new ideas, or as complex as dedicated deep work to map out where you want to go and what you need to get there. 

Once you have a clearer idea, you’ll be in a much stronger position to play to your superpowers, put your hand up for strategic opportunities and say no to the noise.

You can only get so far on your own

A lack of support can lead to a drop in confidence, increased stress and overwhelm. However, most women find asking for help incredibly hard. 

It’s time to unlearn the idea that we should do it all ourselves and embrace the powr of team work.